Guilty

I have something to admit...

I'm guilty.

I'm guilty of thinking about myself and my problems too much.

I'm guilty of feeling abandoned by certain people in my life,

and guilty of not calling those people to clarify any miscommunications,

if there are any.

I'm guilty of lying.

I am guilty of liking the Dr. Phil show.

I'm guilty of drinking caffeine that my body doesn't need.

I'm guilty of letting people's opinions and judgments of 

me, my life, and my decisions

affect me a lot.

I'm guilty of sleeping in later than I like,

when I get the opportunity.

I'm guilty of not having a lot of confidence.

I'm guilty of having absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life

and at the same time having way too many ideas.

I'm guilty of neglecting my health.

I'm guilty of having too high of expectations

on everything.

I'm guilty of looking for the quick fix.

I'm guilty of being uninterested in things people

close to me

are interested in.

I'm guilty of being too sensitive.

I'm guilty of holding onto things for much longer than is useful.

I'm guilty of not liking people who are close to me.

I'm guilty of feeling morally superior to others.

I'm guilty of not listening sometimes.

I'm guilty of thinking my own opinions and judgments of

me, my life, and my decisions

are those of other people... 

when they are, 

in fact,

my own. 

So, I may be guilty.

But, it is never that simple, is it?... 

So, as much as I am pained to admit these things,

some more than others,

I am not always guilty of these things.

I am at one moment avoiding people,

and then in the next moment, not.

I am at one moment tired,

and then the next moment, not.

I am at one moment enjoying Dr. Phil,

and then in the next moment, not... heh.

I suppose that makes me guilty of inconsistency? 

Or...

if we look at the bigger map, path or spectrum of my life...

of your life...

Aren't we actually being consistent?

We wax and wane just like the moon..

Just like the seasons fluctuate, and the temperature rises and falls..

I am not so guilty as I am a part of this world.

A part of the earth.

A part,

an important part,

 of the energy that makes up the Universe.

♥

... And no making fun of me for liking Dr. Phil! ;)

Love,

liz xo