I used to think that.
That the best is yet to come.
I would be thinking about what I wanted for myself and my life and say
"Wow. Can't wait for my life to be sooo great!!
It is going to be AMAZING!"
And I would picture my future self
so happy.
So blissfully happy.
And then I'd go back to my
reality, doing what I was doing,
and be waiting for
my life to begin.
It didn't make any sense.
Doesn't it seem ridiculous to have to say
life is happening right now all around us?
But it is something I had to
remind myself of.
The best that life has to offer
is happening right now.
You don't even have to search for it.
It just is.
It always has been.
It always will be.
Close your eyes.
Take a breath.
Feel whatever you are feeling.
The good.
The bad.
The confusing, in between
feelings that drive you mad.
Feel them.
Breathe again.
And smile!
Cause you are freaking amazing!
Right this very second,
and for every second after,
you are amazing!
You are breathing.
You are feeling.
You can communicate.
You can read my ridiculous blog.
You can love.
You can laugh.
You can cry.
You can feel heartache and sadness.
You can feel your heart swell with joy and lightness.
You are all these things
right now.
I came across this questionnaire
yesterday that is designed to make you think about
what you've accomplished and
how you feel you've spent 2011.
I read through the questions and
started to answer them
and I could not help but laugh.
This year has been crazy.
I don't know how I survived this year,
let alone am functioning!
Some of you who read this know exactly what I've been through,
but I know there are some people who read this blog,
say from Russia and Germany
(shout out to the peeps in Russia and Germany that read my blog! hey hey!!),
who don't know what I've been through.
I have not been sure if my blog
is an appropriate place to reveal what has happened over the past year,
and that is really something that I can't say.
But it feels right.
So, here are my answers to
the questionnaire.
1. What accomplishments am I proud of from 2011?
- I got a new job doing something that seems to be perfect for me and is really fun!
- I followed my heart for what seems like the first time and didn't doubt my decision.
- I discovered I am capable of a lot more than I ever thought I was capable of.
- I am stronger than I thought. A lot stronger.
2. What brave chances did I take?
I split up from my 4.5 year relationship,
3 months away from getting married,
with no money to my name, no real job, no place to live and no car.
3. When did I impress myself?
I impressed myself by showing myself that I am worth a lot more than I ever thought I was.
I impressed myself by truly discovering that
I am impressive!
4. What challenges did I overcome?
I always struggled with the idea of doing things like getting a loan, buying a car, finding a place to live, etc. and I am absolutely confident now that I can do pretty much anything.
I overcame the fear of realizing my own greatness.
I overcame the horrible flaw of being impatient with myself...
well, sort of. ;)
5. Which relationships did I strengthen?
My relationship with my family has soared and blossomed and
has blown my mind. I love my family and
don't know how I lived so long doubting it or them.
My relationships with my friends have also deepened and become
stronger than anything I thought possible.
I am truly blessed.
Mostly though, my relationship with myself has strengthened the most.
Don't mess with me, because you'll get me! ;)
6. What did I create?
I thought that I had to create this life
that was perfect in order to be happy. It always was away from me
and I was always working toward it,
but no matter how hard I tried it was always still
away from me.
I think I created my own
"Clarity Windex"
that needed to be sprayed on my
eyes/soul/heart/spirit
that revealed to me that I already have everything I need.
And in gaining that clarity,
I saw I could create anything I wanted.
7. How did I nurture my relationship with my body?
This I could probably work on a little more.
I mean,
I ran a half marathon in June.
I have recently lost about 25lbs,
and am down to the weight that is on my Driver's License.
HA!
And that may seem impressive,
but I lost it because I had no appetite from
being sad and stressed and extremely preoccupied.
So, that is something to work on.
8. What setbacks did I greet with grace and courage?
Umm... did you read #2?
Like I said earlier,
I don't know how I am functioning right now.
Some of the things I did to survive may
not have been graceful,
but the fact that I survived them and still
have close friends and family around me and
they don't hate my guts
reveals to me that I had some grace during all this.
And courage?
Ummm... did you read #2??
9. What were some fun ways I pampered myself?
This one makes me laugh.
Ok.
New Years Resolution:
Since I'm no longer trying to survive the day,
find time to nurture my body and fun ways to pamper myself.
10. What promises did I keep with myself and others?
I promised myself that
everything was going to be alright.
And it is.
I promise the same to you.
Everything is going to be alright,
and you may not be able to hear it,
but at this very moment,
everything is alright.
Just breathe and smile :)
Something I've been saying for the past couple of months is
I can hope that life turns out the way I want it to,
but that is not something I can control.
So, I will just have
faith
that everything is going to turn out great.
Because it will.
And now, one of my favorite poems :)
Have a very Happy New Year!!
source, source, source
That the best is yet to come.
I would be thinking about what I wanted for myself and my life and say
"Wow. Can't wait for my life to be sooo great!!
It is going to be AMAZING!"
And I would picture my future self
so happy.
So blissfully happy.
And then I'd go back to my
reality, doing what I was doing,
and be waiting for
my life to begin.
It didn't make any sense.
Doesn't it seem ridiculous to have to say
life is happening right now all around us?
But it is something I had to
remind myself of.
The best that life has to offer
is happening right now.
You don't even have to search for it.
It just is.
It always has been.
It always will be.
Close your eyes.
Take a breath.
Feel whatever you are feeling.
The good.
The bad.
The confusing, in between
feelings that drive you mad.
Feel them.
Breathe again.
And smile!
Cause you are freaking amazing!
Right this very second,
and for every second after,
you are amazing!
You are breathing.
You are feeling.
You can communicate.
You can read my ridiculous blog.
You can love.
You can laugh.
You can cry.
You can feel heartache and sadness.
You can feel your heart swell with joy and lightness.
You are all these things
right now.
I came across this questionnaire
yesterday that is designed to make you think about
what you've accomplished and
how you feel you've spent 2011.
I read through the questions and
started to answer them
and I could not help but laugh.
This year has been crazy.
I don't know how I survived this year,
let alone am functioning!
Some of you who read this know exactly what I've been through,
but I know there are some people who read this blog,
say from Russia and Germany
(shout out to the peeps in Russia and Germany that read my blog! hey hey!!),
who don't know what I've been through.
I have not been sure if my blog
is an appropriate place to reveal what has happened over the past year,
and that is really something that I can't say.
But it feels right.
So, here are my answers to
the questionnaire.
1. What accomplishments am I proud of from 2011?
- I got a new job doing something that seems to be perfect for me and is really fun!
- I followed my heart for what seems like the first time and didn't doubt my decision.
- I discovered I am capable of a lot more than I ever thought I was capable of.
- I am stronger than I thought. A lot stronger.
2. What brave chances did I take?
I split up from my 4.5 year relationship,
3 months away from getting married,
with no money to my name, no real job, no place to live and no car.
3. When did I impress myself?
I impressed myself by showing myself that I am worth a lot more than I ever thought I was.
I impressed myself by truly discovering that
I am impressive!
4. What challenges did I overcome?
I always struggled with the idea of doing things like getting a loan, buying a car, finding a place to live, etc. and I am absolutely confident now that I can do pretty much anything.
I overcame the fear of realizing my own greatness.
I overcame the horrible flaw of being impatient with myself...
well, sort of. ;)
5. Which relationships did I strengthen?
My relationship with my family has soared and blossomed and
has blown my mind. I love my family and
don't know how I lived so long doubting it or them.
My relationships with my friends have also deepened and become
stronger than anything I thought possible.
I am truly blessed.
Mostly though, my relationship with myself has strengthened the most.
Don't mess with me, because you'll get me! ;)
6. What did I create?
I thought that I had to create this life
that was perfect in order to be happy. It always was away from me
and I was always working toward it,
but no matter how hard I tried it was always still
away from me.
I think I created my own
"Clarity Windex"
that needed to be sprayed on my
eyes/soul/heart/spirit
that revealed to me that I already have everything I need.
And in gaining that clarity,
I saw I could create anything I wanted.
7. How did I nurture my relationship with my body?
This I could probably work on a little more.
I mean,
I ran a half marathon in June.
I have recently lost about 25lbs,
and am down to the weight that is on my Driver's License.
HA!
And that may seem impressive,
but I lost it because I had no appetite from
being sad and stressed and extremely preoccupied.
So, that is something to work on.
8. What setbacks did I greet with grace and courage?
Umm... did you read #2?
Like I said earlier,
I don't know how I am functioning right now.
Some of the things I did to survive may
not have been graceful,
but the fact that I survived them and still
have close friends and family around me and
they don't hate my guts
reveals to me that I had some grace during all this.
And courage?
Ummm... did you read #2??
9. What were some fun ways I pampered myself?
This one makes me laugh.
Ok.
New Years Resolution:
Since I'm no longer trying to survive the day,
find time to nurture my body and fun ways to pamper myself.
10. What promises did I keep with myself and others?
I promised myself that
everything was going to be alright.
And it is.
I promise the same to you.
Everything is going to be alright,
and you may not be able to hear it,
but at this very moment,
everything is alright.
Just breathe and smile :)
Something I've been saying for the past couple of months is
I can hope that life turns out the way I want it to,
but that is not something I can control.
So, I will just have
faith
that everything is going to turn out great.
Because it will.
And now, one of my favorite poems :)
Have a very Happy New Year!!
source, source, source
Love,
liz xo
liz xo
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